May 2013
4 posts
April 2013
26 posts
hopelessbaka:
at least gravity is attracted to me
me: i'll do it in five minutes
me: shit, it's been an hour already?
me: i'll do it in five minutes
It’s as if my cat doesn’t want me to do homework
* cat sits on sheets*
me: omg i have so much stuff to do
me: i don't even have enough time for all this
me:
me: *opens tumblr*
neoputa:
i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs
me after 15 seconds of studying: i just cant do this anymore
hate:
not texting back is only acceptable when i do it
imaginelarrys:
stylinsmut:
im a hostess at a restaurant and my favorite thing to do is ask 14/15 year old boys who are out on dates if they want a kids menu
i love you
A brief summary of the careers of British...
David Mitchell: I will act unbelievably posh and heartwrenchingly lonely, only to burst out with a meaningless rant in 3...2...1...
Michael McIntyre: Ihopeyoucanunderstandmewheni'mtalkingthisquicklybecauseifnottoughlucksuckah
Stephen Fry: Good evening good evening good EEEEEEVENING DARLING OH I LOVE YOU ALL YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO INTELLIGENT LET'S HAVE A JOLLY GOOD QUIZ SHALL WE?
Russell Howard: Let me tell you a story about my adorable and crazy family while simultaneously being adorable and crazy.
Jon Richardson: WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU TOUCH ME!!! Oh, I'm so lonely...
Noel Fielding: So once there was this walrus named Georgie and he floated around the sky for a bit and then he landed and turned into a unicorn and mowed over a group of tourists. Do you like my cape?
Dara O'Briain: Ehhhhh.....
Miranda Hart: -falls over-
Sarah Millican: Aren't I cute? Forgive me while I swear for a bit and tell embarrassing stories about my boyfriend.
Jack Whitehall: I'm going to sit here being adorably posh while complaining about how much I hate Robert Pattinson.
Simon Amstell: I'm precious and every girl in the audience cried when they found out I was gay.
Russell Brand: SEX
thatweirdhorsegirlspersonal:
sir-laughsalot:
sir-laughsalot:
I was looking at my friend’s cat pictures and she has a cat that’s more attractive than some human girls…
I WASN’T KIDDING
officially less attractive than a cat
fake awkward: OMG HEY IM AWKWARD *cute little giggle* NO NO OMG IM SO CUTE IM AWKWARD WOW AWKWARDNESS IS SO CUTE
real awkward: *hopefully they arent looking at me* *please dont talk to me* *why is everyone staring at me* *am i dressed right* *what's wrong with me* *is there something on my face* *wait is someone walking towards me* *starts shaking* *did i do something wrong* *please dont try to talk to me*
March 2013
18 posts
clubpenguln:
*takes a deep breath* you can do this. *takes selfie*
lolsofunny:
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don’t have to. But you probably will, because I’m hilarious.
February 2013
8 posts
